Saturday, February 28, 2015

Mother of The Bride: Tips Just for YOU!

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Top 8 Wedding Planning Tips for Moms

Wedding planning isn't just a big deal for the bride and groom -- it's also a major moment for their moms. Here's the lowdown on some of the biggest issues and mother of the bride duties you'll face during the wedding planning process.

1. Have the Money Talk

In the initial excited moments of an engagement, to-be-weds will be thinking the sky's the limit. We're not saying you need to put a damper on their enthusiasm, but you do need to be clear about your limits. (Unless they've also announced that they're paying for the wedding themselves, in which case hey, you're off the hook!) Talk with your partner, then have a sit-down with the bride and groom-to-be to talk about the wedding finances. Be clear about how much you're willing to contribute to their wedding budget: Remember, you're an M-O-M, not an A-T-M.

2. Play Your Part

You probably have tons wedding ideas, from that great wedding florist your friend's daughter used to the cake you saw a picture of in a magazine the other week, and that's totally great. That said, don't immediately assume you'll be taking the reins when it comes to planning the wedding. Suss out what your son or daughter's expectations are by letting them know that if they need help with anything, you'll be there for them. And if there's something you'd specifically like to contribute an idea to, speak up when the time comes. But speed-dialing the bride or groom-to-be for every last tidbit of wedding info? Let's just say there is such a thing as a momzilla.

3. Dress for the Occasion

Whether you're the mother of the bride or the groom, there are some easy rules of thumb to use when choosing your mother of the bride dress. First, follow the formality and style of the wedding -- if it's going to be a casual beach affair, you're going to have to nix that black velvet gown, even if it does look great on you. Second, if you're not sure, ask! Both the mother-of-the-bride and the mother-of-the-groom should get in touch with each other and the bride. The bride can help you by keeping you in the loop about her wedding gown, the wedding colors, and so on. And while you don't need to match each other (or the bridesmaids), it's usually a good idea for both the moms to have somewhat similar styles. The only major no-no? Skip the white (or any shade that's even close)! That hue is for the bride only.

4. Get On the Guest List

Be sure to talk to the bride and groom-to-be about their expectations for the guest list. Yes, they might be envisioning a mega-reception filled with hundreds of friends and relatives -- but they could also be thinking of an intimate outdoor affair with just a few of their nearest and dearest. Find out what their plans are for the guest list and your contribution to it (and remember, the other parents are going to want input, too!). Once you know about how many people you can reasonably invite, you can draw up your own guest list and provide it to the bride and groom. If they're not sure how many people will work, a good idea is to put a star next to the guests you feel absolutely must be invited (don't forget to factor in any plus-ones).

5. Pick Your Priorities

There probably are some things you would really love to see be part of the wedding, whether including your own mother's favorite flower in the bridal bouquet or getting your great aunt Gertrude a good seat for the reception. But if you make a big deal out of everything single little detail, all you'll accomplish is driving the bride and groom crazy -- and chances are, they'll figure out your M.O. pretty quickly and stop budging on their decisions. And they're right: It's their wedding, not yours. So here's a better plan: Choose a few things (say three) that you really, really want to be part of the wedding, and let the bride and groom know about them. Focusing on just a couple of items on the wedding agenda, the ones that really matter to you, allows you to pick your battles wisely rather than fighting it out nonstop.

6. Meet the Parents

If you haven't already, once the engagement's been announced its key for you to meet up with your son or daughter's soon-to-be in-laws. The newly engaged couple will likely initiate this, but if for some reason they don't, feel free to bring it up. Just say something light like, "Your dad and I are really excited to meet Jane's parents." If they live hundreds of miles away, that's one thing. But if it's just nerves about combining the families, be clear with your tone that you're supportive of the engagement and marriage, so of course you want to meet the new in-laws. Dinner at a nice but still casual restaurant is usually the best option; that way, no one couple has to feel the stress of playing hosts or worrying what fork to use, and everyone can just relax and get to know each other.

7. Be Their Backup

Sometimes, wedding guests can be a bit demanding -- wanting an extra serving at the reception, extensive face-time with the bride, or letting their ‘talented' youngster play a solo at the ceremony. You need to help out the bride and groom by being their first line of defense; or if that fails, being their backup. If guests come to you with complaints, deal with it tactfully by saying something like, "I'm sure Jane and Joe would love to be able to seat all of your children and their dates at the reception, but they're working with a limited budget and need to keep the wedding small. I know your being there really matters to them though, which is why they included you even though they weren't able to invite your whole family." A statement like this accomplishes three things: It makes the guest feel better, it lets the bride and groom off the hook without coming off badly, and at the same time, it doesn't give in to guests' pushy pleas.

8. Tame a Bride(or Groom)-zilla

Sometimes, it's not just the guests -- the bride or groom can get out of line with their requests. If you've got a bridezilla (or a groomzilla!) on your hands, you need to give them a little perspective. While an important role for a mom is being a shoulder to cry on, if they're making everyone else miserable, a little tough love might be in order. If they're going ballistic over every last detail, listen to their tale of woe -- then remind them that the wedding is just one day. Their love and marriage are the important things, not whether the florist is going to substitute spray roses for the ranunculus. If it's more of an attitude issue, remind them -- jokingly -- that they want the wedding party to be smiling for the wedding photos! Then ask if you there are any tasks -- things the bride or groom might have taken on themselves, or things they're delegating to their attendants -- that you or another relative can help out with to try to relieve some of the stress.

-- Kate Wood

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Wedding Cakes!

Wedding Cakes: Our Top Tips

Do you know everything there is to know about wedding cakes? The more informed you are, the better the decisions you will make. We've got you covered with our top tips.

Photo: Artisan Events/Amanda Sudimack

Taste the Cake

As you start setting up appointments, find out when each baker's next tasting is scheduled. At tastings, clients are invited into the bakery to sample exemplary cakes, ask questions, and review portfolios. This is an excellent opportunity to meet bakers and fully understand the range of their abilities.

If you're using fresh blooms, triple-check with your florist that they have not been sprayed with pesticides. Make sure all inedible decorative elements are removed before the cake is sliced and served.

Select a Style

Deal with the cake after all decisions about dress style and reception decor have been made. These elements can serve as a blueprint for the design and structure of your wedding cake. Choose a cake that's compatible with the style of the venue, the season, your gown, the flower arrangements, or the menu. If you want colorful accents (such as sugar flowers or icing ribbons), give your baker fabric swatches. The cake should be part of the wedding, not a glaring sideshow.

Size It Up

Generally, three tiers will serve 50 to 100 guests; you'll likely need five layers for 200 guests or more. If the reception is in a grand room with high ceilings, consider increasing the cake's stature with columns between the tiers. (A "stacked" cake is one with its layers stacked directly atop each other, with no separators.)

Price It Out

Wedding cake often is priced by the slice -- the cost varies, but generally ranges from $1.50 to $15 per slice (though this is a very general and loose estimate). The more complicated the cake (based on intricate decorations or hard-to-find fillings), the higher the price tag. Fondant icing is more expensive than buttercream, and if you want elaborate molded shapes, vibrant colors, or handmade sugar-flower detailing, you'll pay for the cake designer's labor.

Find Ways to Save

Order a small cake that's decorated to perfection but can only feed a handful plus several sheet cakes of the same flavor to actually feed the guests. Stay away from tiers, handmade sugar flowers, and specially molded shapes. Garnish with seasonal flowers and fruit for an elegant (but less expensive) effect. If you'll have a dessert table (or another sweet) in addition to the cake, consider a cake sized for half your guests. Servings will be smaller, but the fee will shrink too.

Get the Facts on Frosting

Buttercream or fondant? That's the main question. Buttercream is often much more delicious. But if you love the smooth, almost surreal-like look of fondant as much as we do, consider frosting the cake in buttercream first and then adding a layer of fondant over the entire confection.

Consider the Weather

If you're having an outdoor wedding in a hot climate, stay away from whipped cream, meringue, and buttercream: They melt. Ask your baker about summer icing options; You might want to go for a fondant-covered cake -- it doesn't even need to be refrigerated.

Mind Your Magazines

Keep in mind, magazines (like ours) have food stylists, editors, and assistants working nonstop to keep the cakes looking perfect. These people spend hours fixing the sweating, dripping, leaning, or sagging that can happen to a cake after it's been sitting for a while. And if what they do doesn't work, they can fix it with Photoshop. They also have the luxury of creating cakes from stuff that isn't edible -- most cakes in magazines are iced pieces of Styrofoam, which certainly doesn't taste very good. So don't expect your cake designer to be able to replicate exactly what you see in print.

Take Note: It's All in the Details

When it comes to decoration, adornment costs run the gamut. The most inexpensive option is fresh fruits or flowers that, in some instances, can be applied by your florist for a minimal fee. On the high end are delicate gum paste or sugar paste flowers, which are constructed by hand, one petal at a time. But here's the bottom line: All add-ons -- including marzipan fruits, chocolate-molded flowers, and lace points -- will raise the rate. (For the record, we think it's worth the cost!)

Encourage Cake Collaboration

If you want to garnish your cake with fresh flowers, find out if the cake designer will work with your florist, or if you are responsible for the blooms. If the florist is running the show, will she have time to adorn the cake? Be wary of elaborate floral accents if your reception space decor is labor-intensive.

Get Him Involved!

The popularity of the groom's cake, traditionally a Southern custom, is on the rise. The bride's cake -- the one cut by the couple at the reception -- is traditionally eaten as dessert. The groom's cake is usually darker and richer (often chocolate) and nowadays crafted to show off the groom's passions and obsessions. Give slices to guests as a take-home memento or cut and serve both for dessert.

Go Mini?

Many bakers agree that the idea of a mini cake (where each guest gets his or her own) is a great idea -- in theory but not always in practice. Not only does each cake require its own decoration (often as intricate, if not more, than one that's four times its size), each will require its own box. Unfortunately, boxes don't come in mini-cake sizes. Often the bakery must construct individual boxes in which to transport these cakes. Multiply by however many guests you'll be having, and you'll see what a costly, time-consuming feat this actually is. That said, if you can swing it, they look amazing being passed around by waiters on sleek silver trays (and of course, they taste just as great too).

Get It On Display

Your cake will likely be on display before it's cut and consumed. Make sure there is a designated cake table that allows the most elegant presentation possible. A round table is perfect for round cakes, but a linear cake design may call for a rectangular table. Figure out your options. Once you have a cake table, have fun dressing it up: Drape it with sumptuous fabrics and decorate it with motifs, colors, and flowers to match the cake (your florist can help).

Top It Off

There are many beautiful and unique ways to top off your cake, so you can avoid plastic figurines (unless you're going for cool-kitsch). If you have an heirloom piece -- especially a fine porcelain antique -- work with your baker to integrate it into an appropriate design. A pair of sugar or gingerbread cookies can look charming atop a country wedding cake. Finely sculpted maple sugar or marzipan figurines are quaint. Other alternatives: a bouquet of sugar flowers, a cascade of icing ribbons, or even a sugar block carved out to reveal your new monogram.

Lock Down Delivery Details

Cake delivery takes coordination. Complex cakes may not necessarily be delivered in final form. Allow time and space for assembly, if needed. Refrigeration may also be required. For more on last-minute details, review our Points for the Contract.

After the Wedding...

Avoid freezer burn! Even if you take the most painstaking packaging measures, eating the top tier of your cake on your first anniversary sounds far better than it tastes. Think about indulging on your two-week or one-month anniversary, and treat yourself to a fresh cake in the same flavor when you've survived the first year. If you must adhere to tradition, wrap the cake in plastic wrap, then bag it in an airtight baggie. Stay away from aluminum foil -- it might not protect against freezer burn as well as plastic wrap because it's not an airtight material.