Groom "gift" duties

It seems like your spending should be over, right...over the course of the last year, you’ve had to buy her a diamond, promise to shun all other women until you die, accepted her mother as your own (great!), and now, on top of all these obstacles, you need to get your fiancée another gift?

The system is definitely broken. But it's still the system—and you’ve made it this far—so you might as well play along.

There is SOME good news though...

1. There aren’t many rules to worry about. It’s not like the engagement ring and the “two months salary” rule you unfortunately had to follow.

2. It’s a rare opportunity for surprise. After months of budgets, invoices, and spreadsheets, it’s clear that very little about wedding planning is romantic. This one item, since it’s the only secret, can be a rush of romance.

So what should you get? Stick to the Rule of 2 Ps: Permanence and Personal. It needs to be timeless. And it needs to be about your relationship. And as for timing? Again, there's no hard and fast rule. But the general idea is to give her the gift on either the wedding day or the night before the wedding.

Here are a few ideas that should meet the criteria:

JewelryAdd a personal touch with an inscription or by selecting something that matches the engagement ring or wedding theme. It could be a bracelet, earrings, necklace—basically anything.

Framed Sentimental PictureShe’s not allowed to not like this. 1) Find a photo of the two of you before you were engaged. Not a boring pose, but something active like horseback riding, splashing water on the beach, crowd-surfing a mosh-pit, whatever. The idea is that the spirit of your relationship is carried through the wedding ceremony. 2) Splurge for a good frame.

Personalized Wedding Magazine CoverCareful, this can be cornier than a bad chick flick. So think about whether your girl is into that kinda thing. Personalie it by writing clever jokes on the cover that only she will get.

Keepsake BoxYou can engrave whatever sentimental stuff you want on the top of the box, and then she can use it to store her jewelry, perfume, or other goodies.

Personalized Photo AlbumIt nicely sticks to the rule of P's and gives you extra credit on the Personal. Look back at your relationship and pick out the photos that tell a story, in chronological order, from your early days to this current era of domesticity. Write a caption for each.

 

Family heirloomOnly if the heirloom is her taste—get someone else’s second opinion.

No matter what, in addition to getting one of the above “proper” gifts, we also recommend the following:

The Bonus Fun GiftSmall, token, utterly non-sappy. Something silly and flirty that will make her laugh. Maybe it’s a trashy book or guilty pleasure DVD. But it must be something fun that helps counterbalance the other Hallmarky stuff. It’s a reminder that underneath all the layers, you are still you.

Unexpected pamperingThis isn’t a gift, per se, but in the final days leading up to the wedding, surprise her with a breakfast in bed or candlelit dinner. Cook. Get champagne. Flowers.